Is It An Imaginary Friend Or Is It Spirit?

I have been thinking a lot lately about when I realized that I could communicate with Spirit.... And when did I start ignoring Spirit.... And what made me go back to communicating with Spirit...

I really can’t think of when I first realized that I could communicate with Spirit; and I think that is because I didn’t think that it was unusual, didn’t everyone communicate with Spirit? The closest I can get to figuring out the date, is a conversation that I had with my dad one night, while we were driving to go get “churrasquinho de rua,” basically, meat on a stick that was made in the streets of Brasil, a very popular part of the Brasilian culture. As we were driving, I told him that his mother, who I had never met in this life time, was sitting behind him in the car. I somehow, knew that it was her, even though I had never seen even a picture of her. I could actually “see” her, she wore a floral dress, had a serious expression on her face but very kind eyes. She made me feel safe, that is, until I told my dad that I could see her, and well... he couldn’t.

I remember looking back at the back seat, and being really confused - if I looked directly at her, she wasn’t there; but if I looked straight ahead, I could see her and feel her presence. I believe that my looking back and forth is what made my dad ask me what I was doing. When I explained to him that his mom was there, he looked at me like I had five heads. This made my grandmother smile, I felt the warmth of her soul, and I could feel that more was about to happen. He started asking me questions like: “how did I know that it was her?” I told him what I tell everyone who asks me that questions “that I just did.” I’m not really sure if he kept asking me questions because he believed that I was actually seeing her, or if he was asking me questions because he thought that it was entertaining that I could have such an amazing imagination. Either way, I remember us talking about it all the way to the food truck, and I was glad once we got there because the questions would have to stop....

After eating, we got back in the car and I had semi forgotten the conversation. My dad was quiet, which isn’t very much like him. He eventually looked at me and said “You know, your cousin Caio, used to see his dad too.” That caught me by surprise, I never really thought about who could or could not see Spirits. But what made me even more confused was that he used the words “used to.” Did that mean that he couldn’t see his dad anymore? And wait … I went to his house before, and I never saw his dad.... At least I don’t think that I did. I didn’t really respond to my dad, it was as if all of those questions came rushing into my head at once, and I just stared at him. He proceeded to tell me that when Caio was little, his mother would ask him who he was talking to and his answer was always “dad.” Apparently, my aunt just thought that he was making it up in order to cope with the fact that he didn’t get a chance to really meet his father.

Well, one day my aunt asked Caio who he was playing with and he once again answered “my dad, but right now I need to wait for him to finish tying his shoes.” My aunt started observing her son’s behavior and realized that he was staring towards the same place that she remembered that her husband had always tied his shoes was where her son was. She then got curious and asked him to describe to her what was happening, so he did. As my dad is telling me this story I remember being able to “see it,” it wasn’t like when I read a book, or just imagined things, it was this flash of a memory-like feeling. Today I know that it was Spirit showing me what had happen. I remember looking at my dad and knowing exactly what he was going to say next, and how the “story” was going to end. I still said nothing, because I could tell, that this was an information only situation and not an ask questions and get answers situation.

Caio is my dad’s age, and I never asked him about his experiences with Spirit. I don’t know if, like many of us he stopped seeing, feeling, and hearing Spirit once he became an adult or if he still does. Although, something inside of me tells me that he has the ability to if he really wanted to. I for instance, had to figure out how to shut “it” off not long after this conversation.

I can’t point out what made me shut off my gift. I just know that one day I wasn’t seeing Spirit anymore, or hearing them. I know for a fact that it had to be after 3rd grade. I only know this because that is when I switched schools. I remember that almost every day before 4th grade while I was in school, I heard my name being called. It was a very loud “Camilla” while we did our moment of silence after our daily prayer. Yes prayer, did I not mention that I was in a Catholic school?! Talk about not being able to express that you heard voices and that you could see Spirit. Not that anyone in the school told me that I couldn’t, I just once again “knew” that I couldn’t express to them that I was able to. With my name being called every day, sometimes several times a day or several times at the same time, I got a little scared. I noticed that no one else could hear it, I would look around and notice that none of my friends or the teachers that were around me could hear my name being called. This always made me very anxious; after all, at this age I started to understand that this wasn’t “normal.”

When I switched schools, the voices seemed to have stopped. However, my anxiety didn’t really go away; if anything, it only increased. I had a really hard time at night especially, there were times that I would close my eyes really tight and just hope that “nothing” would be there. I remember even during the day, I would call my mom so many times at work, I would make things up just to talk to her. I now know it’s because I was feeling Spirit and I didn’t know how to deal with it so I got anxious and thought that something was off. Hearing my mom’s voice has always comforted me. After several years, I could count on one hand how many more times I had a known experience with Spirit; that is until I decided to re-open myself of course.

All of them were when I was in United States already. I remember one night, I was in my grandparents’ sitting room and looking outside. We don’t usually hang out in that room; and I had learned as a kid never to look outside when it was dark, especially if it was quiet and there was a long landscape of nothing outside. But for some reason that night, I went into the sitting room and just felt the need to stare outside. That is when I saw an old soul walking around with a basket looking at my grandfather’s trees. The soul looked at me and smiled. All of this happened within seconds and when I blinked again the soul was gone. I have never shared with anyone this story. That night I went to bed a little confused, after all it had been years since anything like that had happened... I really hoped that it wouldn’t again and I told myself to stop looking outside at night.

For some reason, still to this day, it is easier for me to “pick up” on Spirit when it’s dark. I believe it’s because my eyes can’t see that well, so I’m able to use my third eye a little better. When it’s dark is it seems to be easier to shut down the logical and practical side of my brain. Communicating with Spirit requires that I step outside of my upbringing. There isn’t much of what we humans call “logic,” when communicating with Spirit. After all, hearing voices in your head, or just “knowing” things, or getting pictures put in your head or feeling “things,” etc. isn’t “normal.”

I truly believe that if we normalize mediumship, there will be a lot more healing in this world. I know that many more kids will suffer less from anxiety and isolation. Being a medium child is really scary, especially when the adults in your life don’t know what you are going through. After years of therapy, that helped and gave me coping tools, I was still an anxious person. Come to find out that my anxiety, at times, is because I’m feeling Spirit. Many mediums feel anxious when Spirit tries to communicate with them and they aren’t “listening.” Please don’t get me wrong, not every anxious person is a medium. I’m in no way saying that anxiety isn’t real, trust me it is. But I now know when I’m anxious because of an event that is taking place in my life, and when I’m anxious because of the energy around me.

Learning that took me finding someone who could teach me about mediumship. She told me that I was a medium and that my anxiety also came from Spirit coming into my energy to try to communicate with me. It was incredible to me that she could know that. I had never told this person that I suffered from anxiety; it was Spirit who told her to explain this to me during a healing session that I did with her. Spirit is about healing. There is so much love and wonderful energy that comes from Spirit that it makes you light, if you learn how to accept it. That session was the day that I decided that I needed to open myself up again. I realized that not only was I in a way hurting myself, but I was also stopping myself from helping other people. Spirit told her to tell me that I could do what she was doing, and not to be afraid. She shared many of her experiences with me, and I identified with her immensely. I guess you can even say that for the first time in my life I didn’t feel super crazy or alone in regards to this side of me.

So next time that a kid tells you that they are playing with someone who you cannot see, try not to shut it down. Ask them about that person, you never know if they are seeing Spirit or if they just have an incredible imagination. Either way, neither one will hurt them.

#spirit #afterlife #imaginaryfriend